


Death Pays a Visit.

by BarPurple



Series: Two Horsemen of Various Apocalypses [2]
Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett, Supernatural
Genre: Curse Breaking, Curses, Gen, Rituals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 09:46:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5412197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarPurple/pseuds/BarPurple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Dean's experience the only thing that called for a fresh egg was a fry up, but if it saved Sammy he wasn't going to argue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Death Pays a Visit.

“Are you sure that this ritual will even work?”

Dean huffed and carefully cracked the egg into the bowl. It was the weirdest required ingredient of any summoning spell he’d ever used, but at least it was weird in its sheer ordinariness. He hadn’t had to pull the still beating heart from some creature; just a quick trip to the local farmers market for half a dozen fresh eggs. Dean was a little uneasy that this was closer to baking a cake than summoning Death, but he was willing to try anything right now. He wiped his hands on his jeans and turned to look at Sam.

‘Look through’ Sam might be a better description and that was the problem.

“I don’t know if it’ll work, but using a spell we’ve never used before might make him more likely to turn up. We’re not exactly BFFs right now.”

The semi-see-through form of his little brother gave a half nod half shrug in agreement. Dean shuddered as Sammy walked through the table towards the rune work on the floor. 

“Don’t be getting used to that, dude. We’ll have you solid again in no time.”

Sam ran his dry tongue over his cracked lips. Not having to worry about bumping into things was the only upside of this whole curse. Being just out of phase with reality made drinking impossible and dehydration was starting to take its toll on him. The first thing he was going to do once this was fixed was stick his head under a faucet and drink until he sloshed. Next he’d eat as much of Dean’s cooking as he could without exploding. After that he might take a look at the pseudo-science spell book the inept wannabe technomancer had used on him. Maybe.

“You ready?”

Dean had pulled a book of matches from his pocket and was poised to light the candle. Sam nodded his aching head as gently as he could. Dean lit the candle and stepped back his eyes fixed on the rune work circle he’d carefully chalked onto the floor. Sam edged closer as they waited for something, anything to happen. He was right by Dean’s shoulder, which is why Dean’s arms passed through his chest when he whipped around drawing his gun as he turned to find the source of the voice that came from behind them.

OH GOOD, YOU USED THE EGG NOT THE MOUSE BLOOD. I DISLIKE SPELLS THAT REQUIRE UNNECESSARY CRUELTY. 

The Winchester brothers started at the robed figure standing before them. Sam watched the surprise and confusion battle for dominance on Dean’s face. There were usually only two outcomes to this sort of combination of emotions for his brother. The way Dean’s hands were tensing around the gun he held suggested that outright violence was winning. Sam was relieved when belligerent bravado took the day.

“What the hell are you?”

The seven foot skeleton tilted its bony skull at them. There were no eyebrows on the polished bone, but that didn’t stop Sam having the impression that one was being raised at them.

YOU PERFORMED THE RITE OF ASHKENTE. WHOM WERE YOU EXPECTING TO TURN UP?

Dean pointed with his gun at the circle of rune work on the floor behind him.

“Death is supposed to turn up inside the circle!”

Once again Sam had the impression of facial features that weren’t there, this time making a whoops sorry sort of grimace.

I ALWAYS FORGET THAT BIT.

The skeleton strode across the room and stepped into the circle. It looked down at the hem of its black robe to ensure it was standing dead centre, before raising its eye sockets and smiling. Okay, it was a skull, technically it was always smiling, but Sam got the feeling that there was an intentional smile there at this point.

ARE YOU WANTING THE COWER BRIEF MORTALS LINE AS WELL? 

Dean licked his top lip and sighed. Sam knew his brother was only just holding his temper in check.

“Keep the cheesy lines. We want to talk to Death. Our Death, the real guy. Shorter than you, bit more meat on his bones, looks less like a cheap horror movie extra, y’know?”

“Dean.”

Sam’s tone was full of caution. It wouldn’t do any good, but at least later he could say he’d tried. Thankfully the skeleton didn’t appear insulted by Dean’s words, as far as it was possible to tell he seemed amused.

I KNOW YOUR DEATH. I WANTED TO MEET THE FAMOUS HUNTERS, SO I ANSWERED THE RITE INSTEAD. I AM DEATH, JUST NOT THE DEATH OF THIS WORLD.

Dean considered this for half a second then tucked his gun into the waistband of his jeans.

“Fine. We’ll work with what we’ve got. Can you save Sammy?”

Being to sole focus of the bright blue light that served as the skeleton’s eyes was unnerving. Sam’s hands started jiggling at his sides as the seconds dragged into minutes.

JUST SO WE ARE CLEAR. WHEN YOU SAY “SAVE” YOU MEAN YOU WANT HIM BACK WHOLE, LIVING AND BREATHING AS HE WAS BEFORE, YES?

“Yup. That’s the only outcome we’ll accept.”

Sam couldn’t have stopped himself from asking if you’d paid him.

“What are the other options?”

The glare Dean threw his way was a big brother special; the one that always made Sam feel like he was an idiot six year old kid again.

“What? We never ask, I’m curious.”

NONE OF THE OTHER OPTIONS HAVE THE EXACT RESULT THAT YOUR BROTHER DEMANDS. LUCKILY THE SOLUTION IS SIMPLE AND ALMOST PAINLESS.

“Almost painless?”

The skeleton didn’t answer he just clicked his bony fingers at Sam, who flinched and screwed his eyes shut. Just as he was cautiously opening one eye to risk a look at the unfamiliar Death, the pain hit.

On the pain scale of Sam Winchester this sensation didn’t rank above a four. The best way he could describe it was like being squeezed and stretched at the same time. There was a horrible popping sensation, followed by a crash as he fell face first onto the floor.

“Sammy!”

Sam was coughing and rasping, but very solid again. Dean ripped the top from a bottle of water and started to pour a little into Sam’s mouth. His hand was batted away and Sam greedily glugged the contents down.

Dean felt the change in the air and spared the rune circle a glance. It was totally lacking in seven foot skeletons. He turned his attention back to Sam who was busy chugging down his second bottle of water.

“Steady, you’ll make yourself puke.”

“Don’t care. Water good.”

Sam stopped drinking long enough to give the circle a curious look.

“Was that Death?”

“No idea. It got you fixed and only cost us an egg. I’m calling that a win and not asking anymore questions. Come on let’s get out of here.”

 

Unseen in the shadows the Discworld’s Death watched as Dean helped Sam to his feet. He could see why Death had a certain fondness for them. They danced along the edge of life, unaware of just how much they shaped the world around them. The Monks of History would be glad that the brothers Winchester didn’t call the Disc home. The idea of those two walking in a world run on magic was almost enough to make Death shudder. Quantum wouldn’t stand a chance.

Death shrugged and let his awareness stream out from him. Ah, Death was waiting for him in a place called Chicago, apparently he had to try something called deep dish before he returned to the Disc.


End file.
